deep breaths at sunrise

Two weeks ago I told you I did a "big thing" for my 28-Day Challenge. I was pretty stoked about it, honestly. It's something I've wanted to do for awhile but had been putting off. And apparently I did it just in time, because a few days later my little munchkin decided to show up. Roxanne Rae appeared in the world for all to see. That's why this post is coming out late (although most of it was written before the baby was born).

My one big thing was a small thing that I chose to make big, the way taking deep breaths can sometimes heighten your experience of life. 

I woke up before my husby. This was the biggest step, because I have zero percent excitement for mornings unless someone makes me breakfast. Especially when it's dark out and the covers are the perfect type of cozy and there's a handsome man breathing heavily next to me. Factor in how difficult it is to roll a 40-weeks-pregnant chick out of bed, and the scene turns downright ludicrous.

But I got up anyway.

I made coffee, put together Josh's lunch, got dressed (and it was cold enough for me to wear socks and a flannel! Hello, gorgeous autumn!), and stuffed a bit of breakfast in my backpack. I went back into the bedroom to kiss Josh goodbye...and almost crawled back under the covers.

But I slipped on my sneakers and went out the door instead.

The twenty-minute drive didn't do much to wake me up, and I found myself second-guessing my little plan when I arrived and saw the main parking lot quite full. But this was the Garden of the Gods; what did I expect? I shut down the inner Grouch and looked for an obscure place to park.
Going to the Garden at sunrise...can we all say t o u r i s t? But if I ever leave Colorado Springs, I don't want to look back on my time here and see a list of things I never did because I was pregnant, or too busy, or ashamed of doing something because it's tourist-y. No, I want to do things because they are important to me.

This was one of those things.

I managed to find a chill pull-off where I had a clipped view of the main spires. I wrangled my pregnant body out of the car with my backpack full of stuff. Then I spent the next hour and a half doing yoga and having quiet time/journaling with God.
Yes, I used a selfie stick. Don't judge. Obviously taking yoga photos is a learned skill, but I wanted to have something to remember this day. Remember how I felt graceful despite the baby inside me throwing off my center of gravity. Remember how I found peace and quiet as the sun rose. Remember these last few minutes alone before baby Roxy came crashing headfirst into my world.

I know that this may not be an enormous challenge for most people. So many of you are awake before 5:30am EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And I applaud you for that! But for me, this was amazing. I was two days away from my due date, I woke up with some weird pains that had me worried (they turned out to be nothing more than indigestion), and I sort of thought that maybe it wouldn't be worth the effort.
But it was. I'm so entirely thankful that I didn't talk myself out of it.

Nothing compares to alone time with God. To morning stillness lined with chirping birds. To deep breaths of fresh air. To moving your body in the pre-dawn chill until, with a welcome smile, the sun peeks over a rock and kisses your face. And as you watch, it brings warmth and color back to the world, making everything new again.
Sunrises are worth it. Starting new days is worth it. 

And, dare I say it? Maybe being a morning person is worth it.

It's strange looking back on this day. I was so proud of myself for accomplishing something I wanted while I was hugely pregnant (and, let's face it, feeling lazy). Since then, I have had to be brave in a different way. I went through labor and birth and now I have a tiny baby depending on me for life every day. Though everything has changed, I have to remind myself that these things are still true: every new day God has given me is worth waking up for (whether I've slept the night before or not). 

No comments:

Post a Comment