Dear Friends

(I don't want to get into the habit of posting on weekends, but I feel a slight urgency to share this tidbit because right now, I am missing all of you.)

I'm about to be a mom. Technically, I already am.

I'm really good at pretending that I can go through some "normal" thing like pregnancy and have a different experience than everyone else because I am UNIQUE, okay? Which means that I keep reading all these books and posts about how your life changes after you have a baby...and to keep from freaking out, I say to myself, "You won't be like that. You'll still be young and fun, just with a baby. You can do everything you've always done."

It's okay. Laugh at my denial. I know I would too if I weren't me.

So, friends, I would like to tell you right now that I don't want to lose you. I'm not really sure how to deal with life changes sometimes, and I try to hold on to people. But honestly I am bad at communicating. Phone calls seem like work to me (until I actually hear your voice over the phone; then I'm okay). Most of the people I care about do not live within easy driving distance.

As soon as baby Comet pops out, my priorities are going to drastically change.

Please, don't let me become a hermit. Please remember that I want to talk to you even if it looks like I haven't made the effort. I love emails and letters and texts and I try to respond quickly.

The thing is, there is no escaping the fact that I will be busy with a baby. I will be enamored by her, and will probably blow up your news feed with photos and anecdotes of this child that is mine and thus the coolest thing ever born. I want to say that I won't - that I'll have funny things to say about, you know, anything that doesn't involve babies. But I probably will. Because I'll never leave the apartment.

Just kidding. I hope.

Your job is to tell me if I'm being obnoxious. If I'm too obsessed with my kid. If you can tell I'm dying for social interaction (read: if you can't get me to stop baby-talking, even to adults). I need your honesty! Without you, I will become unbalanced. The last thing I want to do is be so wrapped up in my baby that I forget that other people are important, too.

So share your problems with me. Just don't expect me to be overly sympathetic when your biggest problem is whether or not you should go out on a Friday night. I might beat you over the head.

I know that I will probably "lose" some of you - for a while, at least. I don't expect my single friends to completely understand what it's like to be married with a baby. And that's okay. I'm going to try to be okay with drifting away from that.

Can I just say that I am scared to only have mom-friends, though? That only talking about diapers and breastfeeding and tantrums for the next year(s) terrifies me?

All I can think of are solutions that aren't solutions at all.
Solution: All my good friends must start having babies.
Solution: Everyone must be equally obsessed with my child.
Solution: We must all congregate in the same neighborhood, preferably somewhere in Colorado.

At 39 weeks pregnant (exactly one week till due date), when the only thing in front of me is the Unknown Canyon of Parenthood, and I'm letting you know that I don't know what this transition will look like. Promise me you won't just disappear from my life?

Do not feel left out if you don't appear in these photos! I ran out of space and time and got lost in memories and yada yada yada. I STILL LOVE YOU. Message me your favorite photo or comment with your favorite memory of us together <3

1 comment:

  1. AWWW LOVE YOU WOMAN!!! So excited for pics of your cute babbbyyyyyy <3